Junior High, revisited....

I found myself waiting on a phone call that didn't come. I'm having flashbacks to high school. I think after I put this out there, I'll pretend it's a bird. If it comes back, fine, if not, it wasn't mine to begin with.

"Big Sis" has, with my permission, passed on a phone number to someone that she think I'd have fun hanging out with. Granted, I am an outgoing person, and the more friends the better. I'm starting to think he could be a figment of my overactive imagination.

"Wally" as I'll call him here, has had my phone number for about two weeks now. I understand that we have very different work schedules. My hours are screwy, and he works several days in a row sometimes. Due to the fact that she got a new job, and our hours are so different, I told her I trusted her and she could pass my number along. She did, telling him, "I would hate for a good opportunity to pass by because we don't cross paths for a while."

I understand that he had family in town longer than expected. I also can understand that if you don't know someone, you don't want to start off on the wrong foot by calling at a bad time. If you don't do email, as he doesn't, I get that, too. I even thought it was a good sign when, after having my number almost two weeks, he saw "Big Sis" out, he came right out and immediately said that he owed her an apology. When she asked him why, he said, "Because I haven't called your friend yet." He then proceeded to explain why, and it was viable in my book. He told her to tell me that he would call. He said he would call, and he had to work the next 5 days.

By my count, and it could be wrong, he was off today. No phone call. Being the way I am, I don't necessarily want to jump to conclusions. He could have been called in, could have owed someone a favor and had to work today, had something else come up, had car problems, whatever.

Seriously, I think I'm most disturbed by my reaction to not getting a call. I thought I was beyond the days of waiting for the phone to ring. I don't literally do that, but it was there in the back of my mind. I won't deny that. I don't wait for things to happen, I'm one who makes them happen. I also know that everything does (or does not) happen for a reason.

My reaction to the silence on the line makes me wonder at myself. Have I put up a wall and I want to climb over it? Is there the girl inside that wants to go back to days gone by? Do I want a do-over?

If so, why? High school wasn't exactly miserable for me, but I wasn't the head cheerleader, either. In fact, I tried out in 5th grade, didn't get it, and know that was a good thing. I see where they ended up, and it's sad that high school was the high point of their 30 something lives. I'm happy I didn't go there.

Work doesn't offer a lot of socializing with people outside of those I work with. There's the occasional hottie that comes in for pics, and they're quite the eye candy (and a lot of them smell oh so good, too!), but that's as far as it goes. I don't know what's creepier, me making a pass at a patient (I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE, DON'T FREAK) or one of them hitting on me. I've had a few flirt, and it was sweet, even though they were members of AARP, and were retired with their wives out in the waiting room. That's all in fun.

Take work out, there's 40 hours gone out of your week. Add to that the fact that I don't do the bar scene and never did. When I did, it happened to be a cozy little pub where I spent a night or two a week for seven years. I met a lot of people, some I still see, and it was a blast. The mean age was 50 something. I was born old, so what can I say. I get along with them, and some are really good friends still, after the bar has been gone for a few years now.

Now, there are those, myself included, that say, "just do things you're interested in, and you'll meet someone that way." Whatever. I'm sure it happens, but not as much as one would think. I try to look at it this way: if it's not them, then they know someone. I have a lot of friends, and I love 'em all, but I wouldn't marry them.

So, it goes back to the fact that I am thankful that my life is full and that I am surrounded by people who do care about me and enjoy having me around, and there are plenty of them. I am also thankful that I don't have "White Picket Fence Syndrome" and that I don't hear the ever increasing volume of the tick of the biological clock (in fact, someone else can have it, I don't need it). WPFS is that in which a woman focuses everything she has and is into the dream of a man, a ring, 2.5 kids, all in a house with the white picket fence outside and living happily ever after.

And therein lies the answer to why I didn't get the call. All of this was to remind me of all the good things I have in my life, and not to take it for granted. A call you don't get may be the best call of all.

With that, it's now my bed time. Two more working days til a long weekend, which I will spend with a lot of great people, and a few that irriate me, in an amusing sort of way!

"Big Sis" if you're reading this, know I love ya, and I know you tried, and I love you for it! I also know that there's a reason for everything, and even if "Wally" never calls, it's still good!