. I had already started back at the gym ,but progress was very slow. Then I went to the race, and my friend took this picture of me for my scrapbooking. It's a picture of me eating a hot dog at the track. I wanted to delete it but something has always stopped me. I had looked at myself in the mirror that morning, but this wasn't what I saw. I don't know who this is. I have a big personality, but I've never been this big on the outside. I got mad the other day because there was a picture on People magazine of that chick that played Sabrina on TV, I can't remember her name. I remember it saying "the hidious picture at 155, and now she's down 40 some pounds and in a bikini. I used to weigh 155. I'm 5'4" and I didn't wear a bikini, but I didn't think I looked "hidious." This picture, welllllll, it's close. I don't know how it all got away from me. I was studying for my MRI boards, I quit running a few years ago (but kept eating like I still was), my (now ex) boyfriend moved in and we both liked food. I was tired all the time. For the last few years, I have tried to buy organic as much as possible. It's to the point where I actually don't like white bread (except on a BLT with mayo and fresh tomatoes out the garden or at least the farmer's market-YUMMY!). I feel bad after eating fast food, to the point where I very rarely do it at all (the movie Super-Size Me helped with that as well. Oh, those fries, who knew?). So, I'm eating healthy and going to the gym four days a week, why won't it come off like it used to? Don't EVEN think about giving me that line of crap about "well, you're over 30 now..." It's just that-crap. I've considered having them check my thyroid, but haven't done it, I have no other symptoms. I'm guessing it has something to do with my metabolism. Somehow I have to kick it up, so I have a lot of research to do.Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Scrap the Fat: The Before Page
This is the first page of the scrapbook journal that I'm doing with my friends at 2peas. I had no idea what paper I was going to use until I came across this one, and then the whole page fell into place
. I had already started back at the gym ,but progress was very slow. Then I went to the race, and my friend took this picture of me for my scrapbooking. It's a picture of me eating a hot dog at the track. I wanted to delete it but something has always stopped me. I had looked at myself in the mirror that morning, but this wasn't what I saw. I don't know who this is. I have a big personality, but I've never been this big on the outside. I got mad the other day because there was a picture on People magazine of that chick that played Sabrina on TV, I can't remember her name. I remember it saying "the hidious picture at 155, and now she's down 40 some pounds and in a bikini. I used to weigh 155. I'm 5'4" and I didn't wear a bikini, but I didn't think I looked "hidious." This picture, welllllll, it's close. I don't know how it all got away from me. I was studying for my MRI boards, I quit running a few years ago (but kept eating like I still was), my (now ex) boyfriend moved in and we both liked food. I was tired all the time. For the last few years, I have tried to buy organic as much as possible. It's to the point where I actually don't like white bread (except on a BLT with mayo and fresh tomatoes out the garden or at least the farmer's market-YUMMY!). I feel bad after eating fast food, to the point where I very rarely do it at all (the movie Super-Size Me helped with that as well. Oh, those fries, who knew?). So, I'm eating healthy and going to the gym four days a week, why won't it come off like it used to? Don't EVEN think about giving me that line of crap about "well, you're over 30 now..." It's just that-crap. I've considered having them check my thyroid, but haven't done it, I have no other symptoms. I'm guessing it has something to do with my metabolism. Somehow I have to kick it up, so I have a lot of research to do.
. I had already started back at the gym ,but progress was very slow. Then I went to the race, and my friend took this picture of me for my scrapbooking. It's a picture of me eating a hot dog at the track. I wanted to delete it but something has always stopped me. I had looked at myself in the mirror that morning, but this wasn't what I saw. I don't know who this is. I have a big personality, but I've never been this big on the outside. I got mad the other day because there was a picture on People magazine of that chick that played Sabrina on TV, I can't remember her name. I remember it saying "the hidious picture at 155, and now she's down 40 some pounds and in a bikini. I used to weigh 155. I'm 5'4" and I didn't wear a bikini, but I didn't think I looked "hidious." This picture, welllllll, it's close. I don't know how it all got away from me. I was studying for my MRI boards, I quit running a few years ago (but kept eating like I still was), my (now ex) boyfriend moved in and we both liked food. I was tired all the time. For the last few years, I have tried to buy organic as much as possible. It's to the point where I actually don't like white bread (except on a BLT with mayo and fresh tomatoes out the garden or at least the farmer's market-YUMMY!). I feel bad after eating fast food, to the point where I very rarely do it at all (the movie Super-Size Me helped with that as well. Oh, those fries, who knew?). So, I'm eating healthy and going to the gym four days a week, why won't it come off like it used to? Don't EVEN think about giving me that line of crap about "well, you're over 30 now..." It's just that-crap. I've considered having them check my thyroid, but haven't done it, I have no other symptoms. I'm guessing it has something to do with my metabolism. Somehow I have to kick it up, so I have a lot of research to do.
Busy weekend!
I had to go home for my family reunion this past weekend. It's always a good time, very amusing. The first year we started doing it again, about ten years ago, there were 83 of us. Twenty one of us out at the bar later. It dwindles every year, though. People get older, people slow down, people get laid off, and people pass away. My Grandma has 6 siblings, three brothers and three sisters. The girls are the only ones left. The brothers and a sister-in-law are watching from up above.
This is the first year that I looked around and wondered to myself how many would be there next year. Some of them are looking older, but then they should, they are older. I remember the first time I noticed that my parents were both gray. Not salt and pepper, not fading, but gray. I have the same streak of gray that my mom had since she was in the eight grade. Granted, it's hard to find, you have to know where to look, but it's there. Over time, I watched it spread. Then one day, it all was.
I made sure to visit with all the relatives that were in that I don't get to see but once a year, and the ones that I see quite a bit. It's hard to keep in mind that because you only see them once a year, time doesn't stand still. Tomorrow isn't always promised to us either, so take advantage of today while it's here.
This is the first year that I looked around and wondered to myself how many would be there next year. Some of them are looking older, but then they should, they are older. I remember the first time I noticed that my parents were both gray. Not salt and pepper, not fading, but gray. I have the same streak of gray that my mom had since she was in the eight grade. Granted, it's hard to find, you have to know where to look, but it's there. Over time, I watched it spread. Then one day, it all was.
I made sure to visit with all the relatives that were in that I don't get to see but once a year, and the ones that I see quite a bit. It's hard to keep in mind that because you only see them once a year, time doesn't stand still. Tomorrow isn't always promised to us either, so take advantage of today while it's here.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Ounce of prevention costs $690....
It all started because I am paranoid about the brakes on my car. Three years ago I had to replace all the brakes AND rotors for $635. Last Saturday, after pricing some places, I took the car in to have all four pads replaced.
They called and said the pads were fine, but that I needed new outer tie rods and a coolant flush, so instead of looking at $300, it would be $425. I went back in and told them I would need my car back. Then I called a friend of mine (actually I was friends with his wife first, but anyway) who works at a dealership. He told me I didn't need a coolant flush, which I figured as much. I had just had a head gasket replaced in November, and what they were showing me was the same thing that he showed me last fall. The guys at the shop told me they must not have cleaned it off. I'm thinking to myself, "well, it's not a show car, so why would they?"
When I told my friend, he said they could do it for less. I said I could drop it off Wednesday and pick it up Thursday before heading out of town. Welllllllll, they called and said that I could use new CV joints and if I were to do that, the labor on the outer tie rods would be included, so I would save some there. I decided to go ahead, why not? They had to order the parts and would have it back to me on Thursday.
Thursday, the parts came in, the mechanic went to put them in, and found that there was a huge crack in the steering knuckle (as if I know what any of this crap is, but it all sounds impressive). In fact they all were shocked that I had been driving around with it cracked that bad. That part alone (retail) costs well over $400. The one time that I wasn't able to make it to the phone, my friend called. He went ahead and made an executive decision (which I am totally fine with). He decided to go with the steering knuckle and some of the other things could wait, he went with what would make it safe. That cost $689.
They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but why is that ounce so expensive to start with? I should look on the bright side and be happy I had the money to cover it, that I had driven safely on what I had wrong with it, and that I have friends looking out for me.
I'm just glad they found an end to it. I was afraid if they kept looking I would end up with a new car! I'm also thankful that I don't have THAT to contend with for a while longer!
They called and said the pads were fine, but that I needed new outer tie rods and a coolant flush, so instead of looking at $300, it would be $425. I went back in and told them I would need my car back. Then I called a friend of mine (actually I was friends with his wife first, but anyway) who works at a dealership. He told me I didn't need a coolant flush, which I figured as much. I had just had a head gasket replaced in November, and what they were showing me was the same thing that he showed me last fall. The guys at the shop told me they must not have cleaned it off. I'm thinking to myself, "well, it's not a show car, so why would they?"
When I told my friend, he said they could do it for less. I said I could drop it off Wednesday and pick it up Thursday before heading out of town. Welllllllll, they called and said that I could use new CV joints and if I were to do that, the labor on the outer tie rods would be included, so I would save some there. I decided to go ahead, why not? They had to order the parts and would have it back to me on Thursday.
Thursday, the parts came in, the mechanic went to put them in, and found that there was a huge crack in the steering knuckle (as if I know what any of this crap is, but it all sounds impressive). In fact they all were shocked that I had been driving around with it cracked that bad. That part alone (retail) costs well over $400. The one time that I wasn't able to make it to the phone, my friend called. He went ahead and made an executive decision (which I am totally fine with). He decided to go with the steering knuckle and some of the other things could wait, he went with what would make it safe. That cost $689.
They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but why is that ounce so expensive to start with? I should look on the bright side and be happy I had the money to cover it, that I had driven safely on what I had wrong with it, and that I have friends looking out for me.
I'm just glad they found an end to it. I was afraid if they kept looking I would end up with a new car! I'm also thankful that I don't have THAT to contend with for a while longer!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Scrap the Fat
IndyNia on 2peas website has started a wonderful thread! It's for people who want to loose weight and want to scrap their progress. I jumped on. The first time I got a kick in the pants was when I got up to 180 pounds. I remember when I was little that my mom stepped on the scale one day and I heard her in the kitchen say, none too quietly, "Oh my GOD, 180 POUNDS!" I don't know if it was poetic justice of some sort that when I stepped on the scale at age 26 that I had the same reaction when I was 180 pounds. I joined the gym, and that time the next year I had lost 47 pounds and running. I never ran anywhere in my life, late included, so it was a big deal.
Not big enough though. Things on the job front changed, personal life changed, I yo-yoed, and by New Year's Day this year, all of those 47 pounds found me, and they brought a few friends. I don't remember the last time I wore jeans. I have two pair of what I call "magic pants" because for some reason, they still fit even though nothing else I own does. At least it's summer, and my capris still fit, all both pair. I have a handfull of shirts that I can wear. My regular scrubs are too snug and I've resorted to wearing my comfy (translated: old and baggy) ones to work now. Unfortunately, those comfy ones are getting old, and I'm running out of options.
Our first assignment is to start a before page. I plan to do it, and not look at it again for a long time. I will be posting it here, to keep myself accountable. Call it my cyber version of the picture on the fridge. I've been going to the gym for over a month now. The pounds aren't coming off like they have in the past. I refuse to say it's because I'm over 30, because I think that has NOTHING to do with it. Jillian Michaels has a new book out that says it's hormones and anything not organic. I eat like either a rabbit or a refugee, I stay away from anything other than organic as much as I can, I don't drink soda, tea or coffee and get plenty of water a day, I do the best I can to get in my 5 to 9 fruits and veggies, I go to the gym four days a week (for a total of a minimum of 2 hours of cardio and 2 hours of weights). I don't get it. I'm hoping scrapping will help release whatever subconscious blocks I have because that's the only explaination I have.
Stay tuned for more details on this upcoming saga....
Have a good night, all both of you, and thanks for stopping by!
Not big enough though. Things on the job front changed, personal life changed, I yo-yoed, and by New Year's Day this year, all of those 47 pounds found me, and they brought a few friends. I don't remember the last time I wore jeans. I have two pair of what I call "magic pants" because for some reason, they still fit even though nothing else I own does. At least it's summer, and my capris still fit, all both pair. I have a handfull of shirts that I can wear. My regular scrubs are too snug and I've resorted to wearing my comfy (translated: old and baggy) ones to work now. Unfortunately, those comfy ones are getting old, and I'm running out of options.
Our first assignment is to start a before page. I plan to do it, and not look at it again for a long time. I will be posting it here, to keep myself accountable. Call it my cyber version of the picture on the fridge. I've been going to the gym for over a month now. The pounds aren't coming off like they have in the past. I refuse to say it's because I'm over 30, because I think that has NOTHING to do with it. Jillian Michaels has a new book out that says it's hormones and anything not organic. I eat like either a rabbit or a refugee, I stay away from anything other than organic as much as I can, I don't drink soda, tea or coffee and get plenty of water a day, I do the best I can to get in my 5 to 9 fruits and veggies, I go to the gym four days a week (for a total of a minimum of 2 hours of cardio and 2 hours of weights). I don't get it. I'm hoping scrapping will help release whatever subconscious blocks I have because that's the only explaination I have.
Stay tuned for more details on this upcoming saga....
Have a good night, all both of you, and thanks for stopping by!
I wanna go back
This is a pictre of the layout I did of my luau picture while in Hawaii. If you'll notice, or if you haven't you will, I was too lazy to take it out of the frame or even down off the wall.
This picture will be six years old come December. I was in Hawaii for a week. The summer before this trip, I had signed up with Leukemia&Lymphoma Society's Team in Training to do the Honolulu Marathon.
I had split up with my boyfriend three months before (a birthday phone call from him in the wee hours in the morning giving me the "I just want to be friends" speech after 10 months) and was in need of something to focus on. One day, I got the mailer, and that was all it took. I raised $4250.00 for blood cancer research and in return, they trained me over 16-20 weeks to do this marathon, shipped me over there for a weekend, put me up at Hilton Hawaiian Village, and fed me.
I ended up leaving to go out on the Friday before, and I extended my stay to the next Friday. The team all spent the weekend in Honolulu, and then headed back to "the mainland" on Monday morning. I parted ways with them and headed for Kauai.
I had done my homework, and I had done well! I love to do things, but I'm not a shopper or a golfer. After I got off my island hopper flight and picked up my rental car, I headed down the way to Island Helicopters for my hour long helicopter tour. It was awesome! My face hurt when it was over, and I realized I had to have been grinning ear to ear the whole time.
Once that was over, I headed to Hale Luana, my bed and breakfast for the week. Just a tip, it was peak season, and a cheap hotel room was going to cost $140/night. Hale Luana, just $90 a night, and it was much more beautiful there with the pool off the porch and the ocean in the distance than any hotel on the beach. If you go, stay there and tell Elizabeth and Robert I said hello.
The next day, I scheduled a 4 hour horseback ride at Princeville Rance. It was me, and a family of four moving back to the states from Austrailia who had stopped here along the way. Aside from all the mosquitoes at the waterfall, it was great. I had ten blisters between my two feet, and they had said that if you had any kind of physical imparment, that you wouldn't be able to go, due to the 10-15 min hike down to and back up from the waterfall. I didn't tell the guide until we reached the bottom about my feet. She couldn't believe it. I told her after all I had done to get there, a few blisters and some hobbling wasn't going to stop me from enjoying this trip. My tennis shoes were soaked on the climb back up, and were wet for the rest of the week. That was fine considering that I couldn't stand anything but flip flops the whole time anyway.
Wednesday I went on a 3 hour ATV tour with Koloa ATV Tours. Dad has two of these, and I LOVE to ride. I never did get my pony or my horse, but riding these is a close enough second for me. Unfortunately, these were toned down to only go 35 MPH, so I couldn't fly like I do at my parents' house. It was good enough, though. We weren't allowed to take our cameras because of the dust, but they had a camera girl that would shoot pictures for us and we could buy the CD for the low price of $19.95. I had yet to start scrapbooking (but I did scrap this WHOLE trip 12x12, all 59 pages just last year) but I knew I would need those pictures someday, so what are you going to do?
I met a guy who was vacationing from Arizona by himself as well, so we went sightseeing and out to dinner later that evening. There were a LOT of people that said they could never travel alone like I was going to, but could totally see me doing it being who I am. I have to say, even doing it now, eating out alone is THE WORST part of it. By the end of the week, you're really tired of, after them asking how many in the party and you telling them one, the response something to the effect of "oh, just you?" I just wanted to turn around frantically and scream, "WHAT??? Where did everyone GO?!!? Yes, you moron, just ME. Is that really such a BAD THING?"
Thursday was my last full day there. I did some sightseeing, Kilaua Lighthouse, and met Gran' for lunch. That evening was the luau. Even if you go alone, at least there you don't have to eat alone. The food was outstanding and the show was very entertaining as well.
Parting is such sweet sorrow, but I had been gone a week and it was time to go home. I was the only person staying at the B&B all week. My last day, instead of Elizabeth bringing me a tray and joining me on the porch, I had breakfast in the kitchen with them. From the time I got up until the time I got home it was a full 24 hours. Layovers in Honolulu, Maui and later Chicago, but then I was home. That's the only time I can think of when I enjoyed being in the cold, but the feeling soon passed.
That's been 6 years this winter. I've had maybe two full fledged vacations since then, the last being a week on Tybee Island and Savannah, Georgia in October 2007. I'm way overdue, and need another vacation. When and where I have yet to figure out, but I will eventually....
Monday, June 8, 2009
Junior High, revisited....
I found myself waiting on a phone call that didn't come. I'm having flashbacks to high school. I think after I put this out there, I'll pretend it's a bird. If it comes back, fine, if not, it wasn't mine to begin with.
"Big Sis" has, with my permission, passed on a phone number to someone that she think I'd have fun hanging out with. Granted, I am an outgoing person, and the more friends the better. I'm starting to think he could be a figment of my overactive imagination.
"Wally" as I'll call him here, has had my phone number for about two weeks now. I understand that we have very different work schedules. My hours are screwy, and he works several days in a row sometimes. Due to the fact that she got a new job, and our hours are so different, I told her I trusted her and she could pass my number along. She did, telling him, "I would hate for a good opportunity to pass by because we don't cross paths for a while."
I understand that he had family in town longer than expected. I also can understand that if you don't know someone, you don't want to start off on the wrong foot by calling at a bad time. If you don't do email, as he doesn't, I get that, too. I even thought it was a good sign when, after having my number almost two weeks, he saw "Big Sis" out, he came right out and immediately said that he owed her an apology. When she asked him why, he said, "Because I haven't called your friend yet." He then proceeded to explain why, and it was viable in my book. He told her to tell me that he would call. He said he would call, and he had to work the next 5 days.
By my count, and it could be wrong, he was off today. No phone call. Being the way I am, I don't necessarily want to jump to conclusions. He could have been called in, could have owed someone a favor and had to work today, had something else come up, had car problems, whatever.
Seriously, I think I'm most disturbed by my reaction to not getting a call. I thought I was beyond the days of waiting for the phone to ring. I don't literally do that, but it was there in the back of my mind. I won't deny that. I don't wait for things to happen, I'm one who makes them happen. I also know that everything does (or does not) happen for a reason.
My reaction to the silence on the line makes me wonder at myself. Have I put up a wall and I want to climb over it? Is there the girl inside that wants to go back to days gone by? Do I want a do-over?
If so, why? High school wasn't exactly miserable for me, but I wasn't the head cheerleader, either. In fact, I tried out in 5th grade, didn't get it, and know that was a good thing. I see where they ended up, and it's sad that high school was the high point of their 30 something lives. I'm happy I didn't go there.
Work doesn't offer a lot of socializing with people outside of those I work with. There's the occasional hottie that comes in for pics, and they're quite the eye candy (and a lot of them smell oh so good, too!), but that's as far as it goes. I don't know what's creepier, me making a pass at a patient (I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE, DON'T FREAK) or one of them hitting on me. I've had a few flirt, and it was sweet, even though they were members of AARP, and were retired with their wives out in the waiting room. That's all in fun.
Take work out, there's 40 hours gone out of your week. Add to that the fact that I don't do the bar scene and never did. When I did, it happened to be a cozy little pub where I spent a night or two a week for seven years. I met a lot of people, some I still see, and it was a blast. The mean age was 50 something. I was born old, so what can I say. I get along with them, and some are really good friends still, after the bar has been gone for a few years now.
Now, there are those, myself included, that say, "just do things you're interested in, and you'll meet someone that way." Whatever. I'm sure it happens, but not as much as one would think. I try to look at it this way: if it's not them, then they know someone. I have a lot of friends, and I love 'em all, but I wouldn't marry them.
So, it goes back to the fact that I am thankful that my life is full and that I am surrounded by people who do care about me and enjoy having me around, and there are plenty of them. I am also thankful that I don't have "White Picket Fence Syndrome" and that I don't hear the ever increasing volume of the tick of the biological clock (in fact, someone else can have it, I don't need it). WPFS is that in which a woman focuses everything she has and is into the dream of a man, a ring, 2.5 kids, all in a house with the white picket fence outside and living happily ever after.
And therein lies the answer to why I didn't get the call. All of this was to remind me of all the good things I have in my life, and not to take it for granted. A call you don't get may be the best call of all.
With that, it's now my bed time. Two more working days til a long weekend, which I will spend with a lot of great people, and a few that irriate me, in an amusing sort of way!
"Big Sis" if you're reading this, know I love ya, and I know you tried, and I love you for it! I also know that there's a reason for everything, and even if "Wally" never calls, it's still good!
"Big Sis" has, with my permission, passed on a phone number to someone that she think I'd have fun hanging out with. Granted, I am an outgoing person, and the more friends the better. I'm starting to think he could be a figment of my overactive imagination.
"Wally" as I'll call him here, has had my phone number for about two weeks now. I understand that we have very different work schedules. My hours are screwy, and he works several days in a row sometimes. Due to the fact that she got a new job, and our hours are so different, I told her I trusted her and she could pass my number along. She did, telling him, "I would hate for a good opportunity to pass by because we don't cross paths for a while."
I understand that he had family in town longer than expected. I also can understand that if you don't know someone, you don't want to start off on the wrong foot by calling at a bad time. If you don't do email, as he doesn't, I get that, too. I even thought it was a good sign when, after having my number almost two weeks, he saw "Big Sis" out, he came right out and immediately said that he owed her an apology. When she asked him why, he said, "Because I haven't called your friend yet." He then proceeded to explain why, and it was viable in my book. He told her to tell me that he would call. He said he would call, and he had to work the next 5 days.
By my count, and it could be wrong, he was off today. No phone call. Being the way I am, I don't necessarily want to jump to conclusions. He could have been called in, could have owed someone a favor and had to work today, had something else come up, had car problems, whatever.
Seriously, I think I'm most disturbed by my reaction to not getting a call. I thought I was beyond the days of waiting for the phone to ring. I don't literally do that, but it was there in the back of my mind. I won't deny that. I don't wait for things to happen, I'm one who makes them happen. I also know that everything does (or does not) happen for a reason.
My reaction to the silence on the line makes me wonder at myself. Have I put up a wall and I want to climb over it? Is there the girl inside that wants to go back to days gone by? Do I want a do-over?
If so, why? High school wasn't exactly miserable for me, but I wasn't the head cheerleader, either. In fact, I tried out in 5th grade, didn't get it, and know that was a good thing. I see where they ended up, and it's sad that high school was the high point of their 30 something lives. I'm happy I didn't go there.
Work doesn't offer a lot of socializing with people outside of those I work with. There's the occasional hottie that comes in for pics, and they're quite the eye candy (and a lot of them smell oh so good, too!), but that's as far as it goes. I don't know what's creepier, me making a pass at a patient (I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE, DON'T FREAK) or one of them hitting on me. I've had a few flirt, and it was sweet, even though they were members of AARP, and were retired with their wives out in the waiting room. That's all in fun.
Take work out, there's 40 hours gone out of your week. Add to that the fact that I don't do the bar scene and never did. When I did, it happened to be a cozy little pub where I spent a night or two a week for seven years. I met a lot of people, some I still see, and it was a blast. The mean age was 50 something. I was born old, so what can I say. I get along with them, and some are really good friends still, after the bar has been gone for a few years now.
Now, there are those, myself included, that say, "just do things you're interested in, and you'll meet someone that way." Whatever. I'm sure it happens, but not as much as one would think. I try to look at it this way: if it's not them, then they know someone. I have a lot of friends, and I love 'em all, but I wouldn't marry them.
So, it goes back to the fact that I am thankful that my life is full and that I am surrounded by people who do care about me and enjoy having me around, and there are plenty of them. I am also thankful that I don't have "White Picket Fence Syndrome" and that I don't hear the ever increasing volume of the tick of the biological clock (in fact, someone else can have it, I don't need it). WPFS is that in which a woman focuses everything she has and is into the dream of a man, a ring, 2.5 kids, all in a house with the white picket fence outside and living happily ever after.
And therein lies the answer to why I didn't get the call. All of this was to remind me of all the good things I have in my life, and not to take it for granted. A call you don't get may be the best call of all.
With that, it's now my bed time. Two more working days til a long weekend, which I will spend with a lot of great people, and a few that irriate me, in an amusing sort of way!
"Big Sis" if you're reading this, know I love ya, and I know you tried, and I love you for it! I also know that there's a reason for everything, and even if "Wally" never calls, it's still good!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Later on today I....
I have to work tomorrow. That's not usual for me. My normal schedule is Tuesdays through Fridays 11:30a-9:30p, but there are some "issues" going on with a particular co-worker and they had to switch some things around to cover while the "issue" is on a three day suspension. It's all hush-hush, so it's weird there now. I would really like to have my old schedule of Mondays-Fridays 1:30p-9:30p back, but I have no idea when that will happen. Then again, there is the possibility that I will be meeting "a new friend" and may need the extra evening off. "A new friend" is translated to "well, there's this guy." My friend "Big Sis" (big sister I never had) is on a mission to find me someone. Of course, she tells both him and me that it's just for friends, someone to do things with, and if we should find a "love connection" out of it, it's none of her business. Huh! Whatever, I love her anyway!
I think it would be nice if I could just stay in my scrap cave all day instead of going to work. I went in last night around 7 or so and didn't come out til 11:30. I slept like the dead. I pretty much do that all the time, but it just seemed deader last night.
My friend "Amos" came over today. We're making invitations to her parents' surprise 40th anniversary party. We went to a stamp and paper show here in February and saw the coolest cards made with pictures printed on acetate and put in a window in the card. We're using a picture that she swiped out of their album. They're going to be really cool. I post a copy when we're done.
Sitting here, I realize I probably won't have to worry about a 40th anniversary party. That's okay. I just got out of an almost 3 year relationship in February, the last seven months of which, he moved here from out east and lived with me. I honestly can say I'm not sure that I could ever see myself living with someone that long, or for decades longer, again. I moved away from home at 21. I have lived alone all that time. No college roommates, no roommates in my five year stent in two different apartments, and no housemate other than the four-legged furry kind.
That was until last July. We had been dating over two years and it was time to s--- or get off the pot as some say. It was easier for him to move here, and so he did. There are some that say maybe things would have been better if he had found work (he was with a union, but things were just too slow here), or this or that. I think my neighbor's mom said it best: You don't know someone til you live with them. There were a lot of little things that just don't show up until you live with someone. I'm VERY social, he tags along for the ride, and is one that you can tell he wants to like being there, but really just doesn't.
I learned a lot about myself during that time as well, though, so it's not all bad. Things ended peacefully, and he moved back from whence he came. In fact, as far as break ups go, you couldn't ask for better. Open communication, no blame, no guilt, no regrets, no screaming, no crying (well, a little later, but he never saw it!), no sleepless nights (at least on my part anyway). I learned that while I'm not the white glove sort of housekeeper, I am anal about some things. How the towels are folded (my way, they just stack and fit better in the closet, DUH), how I hang my scrubs, all sorts of little things that I never really noticed until I noticed someone else doing them different. It's okay now, because I'm alone again, and I can do whatever I want.
I've always been outspoken and one to live by my own free will. I have lots of friends, diverse interests, and I have a lot of social groups. In fact, once my ex-boyfriend and I went to dinner with some friends he hadn't met yet. While I was away from the table, one told him it was nice to finally meet him. His reply was, "Yeah, I've heard a lot about you, too. She has a lot of friends." Frank corrected him by saying, "No, she has lots of GROUPS of FRIENDS." For that, I am truly thankful. I have no worries of growing old alone when that is the case. Just goes to show that even the sad times can show you the positive things you have in your life.
Speaking of living free willed, I also have the food in the house as someone who does, and that's basicially NOTHING. So, even though it's almost 9pm on a Sunday, I need to go pick up a few things to sustain me til heading south for the family reunion this weekend. Nighty-night!
I think it would be nice if I could just stay in my scrap cave all day instead of going to work. I went in last night around 7 or so and didn't come out til 11:30. I slept like the dead. I pretty much do that all the time, but it just seemed deader last night.
My friend "Amos" came over today. We're making invitations to her parents' surprise 40th anniversary party. We went to a stamp and paper show here in February and saw the coolest cards made with pictures printed on acetate and put in a window in the card. We're using a picture that she swiped out of their album. They're going to be really cool. I post a copy when we're done.
Sitting here, I realize I probably won't have to worry about a 40th anniversary party. That's okay. I just got out of an almost 3 year relationship in February, the last seven months of which, he moved here from out east and lived with me. I honestly can say I'm not sure that I could ever see myself living with someone that long, or for decades longer, again. I moved away from home at 21. I have lived alone all that time. No college roommates, no roommates in my five year stent in two different apartments, and no housemate other than the four-legged furry kind.
That was until last July. We had been dating over two years and it was time to s--- or get off the pot as some say. It was easier for him to move here, and so he did. There are some that say maybe things would have been better if he had found work (he was with a union, but things were just too slow here), or this or that. I think my neighbor's mom said it best: You don't know someone til you live with them. There were a lot of little things that just don't show up until you live with someone. I'm VERY social, he tags along for the ride, and is one that you can tell he wants to like being there, but really just doesn't.
I learned a lot about myself during that time as well, though, so it's not all bad. Things ended peacefully, and he moved back from whence he came. In fact, as far as break ups go, you couldn't ask for better. Open communication, no blame, no guilt, no regrets, no screaming, no crying (well, a little later, but he never saw it!), no sleepless nights (at least on my part anyway). I learned that while I'm not the white glove sort of housekeeper, I am anal about some things. How the towels are folded (my way, they just stack and fit better in the closet, DUH), how I hang my scrubs, all sorts of little things that I never really noticed until I noticed someone else doing them different. It's okay now, because I'm alone again, and I can do whatever I want.
I've always been outspoken and one to live by my own free will. I have lots of friends, diverse interests, and I have a lot of social groups. In fact, once my ex-boyfriend and I went to dinner with some friends he hadn't met yet. While I was away from the table, one told him it was nice to finally meet him. His reply was, "Yeah, I've heard a lot about you, too. She has a lot of friends." Frank corrected him by saying, "No, she has lots of GROUPS of FRIENDS." For that, I am truly thankful. I have no worries of growing old alone when that is the case. Just goes to show that even the sad times can show you the positive things you have in your life.
Speaking of living free willed, I also have the food in the house as someone who does, and that's basicially NOTHING. So, even though it's almost 9pm on a Sunday, I need to go pick up a few things to sustain me til heading south for the family reunion this weekend. Nighty-night!
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